# Ayodhyā Kāṇḍa 38 — Kausalyā imagines Rāma’s return *Fearing Kaikeyī and the hardships facing Rāma, Sītā & Lakṣmaṇa, she longs for her son’s homecoming and embrace* Portion: Departure and mourning in Ayodhyā · Verses: 20 · Ref format: 2.38. ## Sequence - Kausalyā tells Daśaratha that Kaikeyī has gained her wish and will now be free to intimidate her (38.1–5) - she worries about the young travelers, raised in comfort and sent into hardship just when Rāma was about to receive the Kingdom (38.6–8) - her thoughts turn to a hoped-for homecoming: the city decorated again, the brothers returning with Sītā, and the people showering them with offerings (38.9–14) - she longs for Rāma to approach and embrace her as he did when he was a child → she wonders whether separation from her son repays some past cruelty of her own (38.15–17) - she says she cannot endure life without him (38.18–20). ## Verses **2.38.1** tataḥ samīkṣya śayane sannaṃ śokena pārthivam kausalyā putraśokārtā tam uvāca mahīpatim Then, seeing the king sunk upon the couch with grief, Kausalyā, herself stricken with sorrow for her son, said to that lord of the earth: **2.38.2** rāghavo naraśārdūla viṣam uptvā dvijihvavat vicariṣyati kaikeyī nirmukteva hi pannagī Having spilled her poison upon Rāghava, O tiger among men, like a forked-tongued serpent, Kaikeyī will now roam free like a snake that has cast its slough. **2.38.3** vivāsya rāmaṃ subhagā labdhakāmā samāhitā trāsayiṣyati māṃ bhūyo duṣṭāhir iva veśmani Having driven Rāma into exile, the favoured one, her wish gained and her mind set at ease, will terrify me still more, like a wicked snake in the house. **2.38.4** atha sma nagare rāmaś caran bhaikṣaṃ gṛhe vaset kāmakāro varaṃ dātum api dāsaṃ mamātmajam Far better that Rāma should dwell here in the city, going from house to house for alms; but Kaikeyī's willfulness has power even to make my son a slave by her boon. **2.38.5** pātayitvā tu kaikeyyā rāmaṃ sthānād yatheṣṭataḥ pradiṣṭo rakṣasāṃ bhāgaḥ parvaṇīvāhitāgninā By Kaikeyī, having cast Rāma down from his station just as she pleased, a portion has been assigned to the demons, as at the new moon by one whose fire is kindled. **2.38.6** gajarājagatir vīro mahābāhur dhanurdharaḥ vanam āviśate nūnaṃ sabhāryaḥ sahalakṣmaṇaḥ That hero, with the gait of a lordly elephant, mighty-armed, wielder of the bow, surely now enters the forest with his wife and with Lakṣmaṇa. **2.38.7** vane tv adṛṣṭaduḥkhānāṃ kaikeyyānumate tvayā tyaktānāṃ vanavāsāya kā nv avasthā bhaviṣyati For those who have never known sorrow, cast out by you at Kaikeyī's bidding to dwell in the forest — what state, pray, will befall them there? **2.38.8** te ratnahīnās taruṇāḥ phalakāle vivāsitāḥ kathaṃ vatsyanti kṛpaṇāḥ phalamūlaiḥ kṛtāśanāḥ Deprived of their jewels, young, banished at the very time of their reward, how will they dwell, poor souls, making their meal of fruits and roots? **2.38.9** apīdānīṃ sa kālaḥ syān mama śokakṣayaḥ śivaḥ sabhāryaṃ yat saha bhrātrā paśyeyam iha rāghavam Oh that even now that blessed time might come, the ending of my grief, when I should see Rāghava here with his wife and with his brother! **2.38.10** śrutvaivopasthitau vīrau kadāyodhyā bhaviṣyati yaśasvinī hṛṣṭajanā sūcchritadhvajamālinī When, on merely hearing that the two heroes have arrived, shall Ayodhyā become glorious, its people joyful, garlanded with high-raised banners? **2.38.11** kadā prekṣya naravyāghrāv araṇyāt punarāgatau nandiṣyati purī hṛṣṭā samudra iva parvaṇi When, beholding those two tigers among men come back again from the forest, shall the city rejoice and swell with gladness like the sea at the full moon? **2.38.12** kadāyodhyāṃ mahābāhuḥ purīṃ vīraḥ pravekṣyati puraskṛtya rathe sītāṃ vṛṣabho govadhūm iva When shall the mighty-armed hero enter the city of Ayodhyā, having set Sītā before him on the chariot, like a bull with his cow? **2.38.13** kadā prāṇisahasrāṇi rājamārge mamātmajau lājair avakariṣyanti praviśantāv ariṃdamau When shall thousands of beings scatter parched grain over my two sons, tamers of foes, as they enter along the royal road? **2.38.14** kadā sumanasaḥ kanyā dvijātīnāṃ phalāni ca pradiśantyaḥ purīṃ hṛṣṭāḥ kariṣyanti pradakṣiṇam When shall the maidens, offering flowers and fruits to the twice-born, joyfully circumambulate the city in his honour? **2.38.15** kadā pariṇato buddhyā vayasā cāmaraprabhaḥ abhyupaiṣyati dharmajñas trivarṣa iva māṃ lalan When shall the righteous one, matured in understanding and in years, and radiant as an immortal, come to me caressing me like a three-year-old child? **2.38.16** niḥsaṃśayaṃ mayā manye purā vīra kadaryayā pātu kāmeṣu vatseṣu mātṝṇāṃ śātitāḥ stanāḥ Without doubt, O hero, I think that in a former life I, being cruel, cut off the udders of mother-cows while their calves longed to drink. **2.38.17** sāhaṃ gaur iva siṃhena vivatsā vatsalā kṛtā kaikeyyā puruṣavyāghra bālavatseva gaur balāt So I, O tiger among men, loving as I am, have been robbed of my calf by Kaikeyī, like a cow by a lion, like a cow forcibly bereft of her young calf. **2.38.18** na hi tāvad guṇair juṣṭaṃ sarvaśāstraviśāradam ekaputrā vinā putram ahaṃ jīvitum utsahe For, having but one son, I cannot bear to live without that son, endowed with every virtue and skilled in all the scriptures. **2.38.19** na hi me jīvite kiṃ cit sāmartham iha kalpyate apaśyantyāḥ priyaṃ putraṃ mahābāhuṃ mahābalam For no power at all to live is left in me here, seeing that I no longer behold my dear son, mighty-armed and mighty in strength. **2.38.20** ayaṃ hi māṃ dīpayate samutthitas tanūjaśokaprabhavo hutāśanaḥ mahīm imāṃ raśmibhir uttamaprabho yathā nidāghe bhagavān divākaraḥ For this fire of grief, arisen and born of sorrow for my son, scorches me, as in the hot season the blessed sun of supreme radiance scorches this earth with its rays.